Sunday, February 3, 2008

Living as an Imposter or just living Scandalized?

Why is it so hard sometimes to let others 'see' the real us? Do we really want to live the life of an imposter? We all want to feel accepted by those around us, or perhaps more importantly, we do not want to feel rejected. I ask, if we must compromise in who we are to be accepted by 'people', or rather not rejected by 'people', then is our life really about living or just a dull life full of compromise and lost potential?

Of course, the word 'people' may stand for anything that can apply in our life whether it's parents, family, church, work, etc. Why do we give sanction to people who may not want the best for us, or have their own issues of jealousy, close-mindedness, etc? People who we may not even like, or ever want to be like. Yet somehow we feel we need to be more like they say we should be.
Are we so conditioned in our lives to comply with authority and never to question? When we give people authority over us, we internally validate what they've said; and, we can struggle with these negatives our whole life. We are scandalized. Whether it's a parent calling a child 'stupid, you'll never amount to anything', the church lady who has a 'word from God' for the bride on her wedding day that she wasn't supposed to marry this man, or the team that bought the lie that they are only good enough for a 'glorious defeat'. These are extreme examples that I've heard, but I think we all might unfortunately have more stories that we know of, or have experienced, and can perhaps relate.

For some time now, I've been making decisions to challenge who I'm going to allow to be 'in authority' over me. Even the bible says to "Test all things and hold fast to that which is good" 1 Thessalonians 5:21 and "Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves!" 2 Cor 13:5. Several blogs got me started on this note today, and I've been writing this post haphazardly through watching 6Nations Rugby, the Superbowl and fixing dinner for my children, so apologies is this is hard to follow! :)

Life is too short; we need to be mindful of what we give sanction to in our lives, and let go of that bad stuff which has stunted our potential to be all that we can be. Wonderful credit goes to Talking Bear, Lucy, and Endlessly Restless for encouraging posts and helping to put those challenging thoughts out, and
placing value on who we are, and who we are capable of being should we choose.


Endlessly restless said...

HGF - thanks for the mention and this post.

Recently I've been thinking a lot about integrity and needing to maintain our own sense of 'self'. I see the pressures that Dolly D and other teenagers face today, but worringly I see the same behaviour amongst middle-aged adults.

In my idiosyncratic view, I've always been blessed by being an "individual", and while I don't go out of my way to shock (very often), I don't care too much what people think about me.

Recently, I've found new ways of expressing myself through my blog - whatever people think of it!

By the way - the goose is so cool (pun intended!)

lucy said...

what a lovely, strong post. i think it is when we start asking the questions as you are that we can move toward becoming who we are really intended to be rather than who "they" say we should be.

"lucy" is my reminder to step out and be who my heart tells me is true...sometimes it's easier than others & often times it depends on the company by whom i am surrounded.

thanks for the mention :-)

Mrs Successful said...

This is beautiful, HFG. Thank you.xx

His Girl Friday said...

Hi ER,
You're so very right about the pressures our teens are facing these days. Interesting obs regarding the adults...but I too can see your point in this.

I like what you're doing with your blog; and your openness with your views...that's what made me post there in the first place! :)

Hi Lucy,
It's been a slow process with some things, and I'm learning to overcome 'compromises' made to please others (family mostly), as well as other 'negatives'.
(and I know that I'm not alone in this)
I've always been a bit of a rebel with regard to the status quo and some of the choices I've made..nothing drastic, mind in the teepee after the 4month walk-about, dropping out of university, and maybe rockclimbing, scuba diving were entered into perhaps as a challenge knowing the family response.
I do question things of the church and its religiosity (if that's a word), but perhaps that will be left to another post! :)

Hi Mrs S,
Ta! :)