Wednesday, March 24, 2010

"And that's how the fight started"...... (seen 'em before, perhaps, but funny all the same)

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started...

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

So I said,

'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's when the fight started...


I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's when the fight started...


My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary..

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...


My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, 'Do you know him?'

'Yes,' she sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' I said, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...


I rear-ended a car this morning... So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started....



When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when
I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Of the People?, by the People? and we're going to ram it down your throat and make you pay for the pleasure

(photo credit)

WARNING: the following is a Rant.

Received this in an email...and thought I'd share; especially as there seems a minute correlation with Bock's post. I'm glad for the address of health care, though I do not like this government's ramming more bureaucracy down our throats. There's enough fraud in the government's existing programe as it is. The poor, and the welfare sloths have free medical, the rich have medical, there are some working people who have medical through their employers. Those who fall through these cracks need the help, so redress this issue, as well as regulate Insurance companies so they don't make a profit on our pain, suffering and death due to lack of service or denial. However, as evidenced by many of the socialized medical programs and the amount they are taxed in comparison with the service they receive...not to mention the nice government medical perks that the average joe doesn't get....sorry, I don't want government seeing to my health. I can do that myself, thank you very much....just regulate for profiteers; and, clear the way for affordable health insurance that crosses State lines, with no denial for pre-existing conditions, and is not tied to an employer. However, warning, this might leave a People more self-responsible and independent of government control.

So, with this new Health Care Bill, it does seem that 'of the People, by the People and for the People" is fine as long as the Government says okay and the special interest groups are served. As far as I'm concerned less government, and localized government is the best. Unfortunately, too many people don't know their history and are willing to trade "security" (however false) for their "freedoms."

"People willing to trade their freedom for temporary security deserve neither and will lose both"
-Benjamin Franklin

New Political Party.

Not Democrat, Not Republican, Not Independent.

It's called the "PISSED OFF PARTY" (or POP).

This party is dedicated to vote every incumbent out of office in the next elections.

If you're Democrat, vote Democrat. Just don't vote for the incumbent.

If you're Republican, vote Republican.. Just don't vote for the incumbent.

We need to send a message to all politicians, that we're tired of their B.S.

If the country votes out all the incumbents, the new incoming politicians will get the message..

It's pretty simple. Nobody needs to change parties and lets face it, there's plenty of blame to spread around.

A few good politicians will lose their job but they probably have better retirement and insurance then 95% of the American public.

You've had to struggle for the last 5 years. Some of you have lost your job and may be working in some other sector just to feed your family.

I guarantee you, none of them will suffer like this country has.

If you like what’s going on and think this is a bad idea, delete this.

But if you're fed up and think this is a good idea, then pass this E-mail on.

If you really think this has legs then a website and a blog could help get the word out.

Read this part:

This should be read and understood by all Americans

Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!

Just a few facts of what the re-election of incumbents has given America:

a.. The U.S. Post Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years to get it right and it is broke.
b.. Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it right and it is broke.
c.. Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right and it is broke.
d.. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to "the poor" and they only want more because they are still poor.
e.. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years to get it right and they are broke.
f.. Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get it right and it is broke.
g.. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get it right and it is an abysmal failure.

Folks, keep this circulating. It is very well stated. Maybe it will end up in the e-mails of some of our "duly elected' and their staff (they never read anything) will clue them in on how Americans feel.

Environmental Notice: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Happy St. Paddy's Day!!

Go raibh tú daibhir i mí-áidh
Agus saibhir i mbeannachtaí
Go mall ag déanamh namhaid,
go luath a déanamh carad,
Ach saibhir nó daibhir,
go mall nó go luath,
Nach raibh ach áthas agat
Ón lá seo amach.

"May you be poor in misfortune,
Rich in blessings,
Slow to make enemies,
quick to make friends,
But rich or poor, quick or slow,
May you know nothing but happiness
From this day forward."

Sláinte agus táint!

"Health and wealth!"

Monday, March 8, 2010

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Film Class 101: a western chase theme

The eldest teen is taking a film class this semester. One of the assignments was to film a "chase". She wanted to utilize our equine friends of which I vetoed an all out "get the bad guy while galloping full throttle" scenario, so she was able to make use of trotting and walking and various camera angles. Much easier for the stunt rider aka moi. :)

We involved the whole family, and I had lots of fun getting into costume and character. Though I played both riders, I was essentially the "bad guy" being chased by the bounty hunter. The horses were a bit of a handful at times not understanding what the silly humans were doing. All in all a good learning experience and a fun memory.