Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Pensive Thoughts

The house is quiet, the children still asleep. This morning has found me somewhat reflective as we received one of Those phone calls last night. My husband (TB)'s father is in hospital and is critical. We knew this was coming as he's advanced in years and with cancer. Still, it's never easy. We gave a teary goodbye last night, as TB left for the airport to join his sisters at their father's bedside. As we all could not go, I'm glad TB is with his family, and they with him.

Such is the cycle that we must endure, the pain of separation with death. The sting of death came early for me when my father died when I was only 6yrs old. This has affected me even today, as I can still be slow to gain the trust with making deep emotional bonds with others for fear of the loss. Thankfully, this is one area in which I've grown knowing that I am better for the shared bonds of friendship with others. It is the bond of friendship that gets us through the tough times. Unfortunately, one only has to look to history to be reminded how cruel times can be. All the more poignant a reminder to embrace the joyful times!

Emotions still run very close to the surface for me, as it is almost daily that I think how I came so close to having died just a few months ago. So many emotions, so hard to put to words. I know that I am not alone in this desire to share thoughts and feelings, we all just have different ways of expressing things. Music is very much a part of my expression; and to me, the Celtic songs just have a way of reaching into the heart of the human spirit, expressing both the depths of sorrow, and the heights of joy that life brings.
Ceart go leor. (right enough)

4 comments:

Nick McGivney said...

Ceart go leor cínnte. Ach ag an am céana ta rud éigin i do focail. I'll quit before I embarrass myself ás Gaeilge, but suffice to say that I know what you mean. I find it reassuring and disquieting to think that so many others have been here before us, and how little we all ultimately differ. There must surely be something in this reaching out that seems innate within us.

You are richer for having almost taken that other journey. I hope you are leaving the worse aspects of that day behind now. I'm enjoying your new journey and love the fresh air along the way. Go néirí an bothar leat.

lucy said...

peace be with you...and your family>

His Girl Friday said...

Hi Nick,
well, I only recognise some of the gaelic words...I'll have to grab my handy dictionary! I think it's a neat language with quite a heritage/culture. I'd love to know more of it :)

I appreciate your words, and very much agree with you. :)

Hi Lucy,
Thank you! :)

Mrs Successful said...

When I was very young a few special friends I knew, who became very close to me, moved away to another area and it always devastated me. I think I blamed myself and, unconsciously, decided not to make deep lasting friendships with anyone 'just-in-case'. Through the years I noticed that no matter how detached I tried to be (and I think I tried very hard) people people befriended me and some became very special - those friends ones are still around. You just can't keep a good friend down!

I'm sorry to learn of TB's father and sometimes it's even harder to lose someone around thanksgiving and Christmas time. I have to reinforce my thoughts that you and your family have had a very difficult year HGF and been put through some testing times. With your inner strength (revealed in your blog) you will always come through with flying colours. You are never alone - stay strong and keep your music and family close by.